Mystic

well...

well...did write in here...was sick...had a pathethic week....yesterday whilst working...things got worst...lolzz saran was online..bugged him till i got him...thachi...is busy writing her story...well hope to read her story soon....hmm...

wat else...am bugging saran again today...n thachi ma....disrupting her concentration...my luxury time gonna end soon.....the thought of going to a blood test...is still lingering in my head.....freaky freaky....will continue laterzz

goodness gracious....

goodness gracious....i couldnt believe wat i did today.....after training....i went out to have lunch wif my frenz in setapak jaya....they brought me there...then halfway...they dropped me...n i went back home.....so when i reached home...i thought i'll reload first...my h/p...after that as i was leaving the shop..a stranger stopped me n said i seemed familiar...i was puzzled.. ..hmmm.... told a stranger my name...where i lived...where i worked...wat company...that dude looked as if he was in his 30's or 40's...i didnt know...wat i was thinking...first he said i look familiar..n asked me where i lived...i answered ....n i left the shop n walked back home...he stopped me again...halfway...as he was riding a motorbike... n asked sum more questions....i was thinking he might be my dad's fren...but when i reached home...it didnt make sense...he didnt say he knew my dad...he said i seemed familiar....how stupid of me....pathethic...not only does he know where i work...which company...it's not that hard to find my office either...he knows which building i live in....how come i can be so vulnerable...that's why....shouldnt be so nice...ignorant n naive.....thinking that i was so...vulnerable to danger...make me sick....

thats why my colleague...my parents alwiz...tell me dont be so blur....ppl will take advantage of u...but do i listen...do i change for the better...nope....i'm digging my own grave...n my ears is itching now n then...its so unbearable....i cant do a thing coz the doc said...i shouldnt do anything....took the medicines though...hmm....the cough is not going anyway...its still there...pathethic!

hmmm....

hmmm....on medical leave today.....went over to the ENT...got my ears checked...n there's another prob...i've got to have a medical check up...i should have done it long time ago....but i didnt....of coz needle phobic....well this time my dad n the doc made sure...i've got to get the check up done coz i have to go back to the ENT doc for follow up check ups...either i might be having severe thallasemia or minor or maybe iron deficieny or both together....but ...am anemic...need to have tests for that too....aww...the thought of going for the blood test...just makes me wanna puke....hmmm...if its thallasemia major...then...i'll be referred to the general hospital...now the thought of that doesnt go down well either....hmm..how long am i gonna run away from it....i've got to face it!...i can...i will n i must....

hmm...i've got to set my mind mentally.....to be prepared...to that little pathethic needle thingie...so that i wont create a havoc...in  the lab....*gosh*.....but now...i have coughs n flu to accompany me...earache is ok....but was bundled up wif a whole lot of medicine....tsk tsk....*this cough is irritating me*....good thing i didnt go to work wif a blocked ear...i might have just lost my temper....mayb i'll be going tmrw for the blood test...*tsk tsk...nailbites*...aww man...blood test....this hospital thingie....not again....:(.....*pathethified...petrified....terrified...n watever fied...*...n the thought of escaping...run away feeling is back ....

i dunno wat i did today was mere stupidity...or i was being plain mean or i just couldnt be bothered......hmm..whilst i was in the ENT clinic...saw my teacher....my higher secondary school teacher...n she made my life a living hell then...well wat do u expect from a math's teacher...she was always mean to me in the class...but outside the class she'll be nice...at one point ...i really didnt know wat to think...should i hate her or like her....but then as naive kid...i respected teacher's a lot.....the maatha pitha guru theivam theory.........but then today....i saw her...n i just made dunno.....i really wanted to say hie....how r u...but then again...i just kept quiet...as if she did not exist...i avoided eye contact.....kept myself busy.... walked about here n there n at one point i went outside the clinic to buy sweets....i had a feeling she might have recognised me....coz i was her favourite to be bullied student....:(....i just dunno why...i just had nothing to say...not even a hie..or a smile...i just treated her as a total stranger...i know it was wrong..i know it was mean n downright rude....n ungrateful too.....but guess..thats what i am sumtimes....mean cold person.....well thats what i am nowadays i guess....

:)

well yesterday nite went over to batu caves..just to check the atmosphere.....lotsa ppl....there were some kavadi's but not as much as i expected.. slight dissapointment..............well there was traffic jam of ppl n vehicle's....hmm...earlier that day..thought of walking with the chariot this year also..but i didnt as i was afraid i was not too fit to complete the journey....:(...n e ways didnt want to disrupt my cousin's vows  as they were carrying pal kudam kavadi's...so just in case if my leg cramps..it'll be disruptive....well last year was my first experience....it feels great to complete the journey and to climb up n down 272 steps after walking for hours....of coz...whilst reaching home...my legs gave up...ended with a cramp...thankfully after i completed the journey though...

today went over n climbed 272 steps....it was ok this year....went with my parents...enjoyed the music accompanying the kavadi's...loved all the mayil kavadi's....each kavadi bearers...were unique...well each individual...unique in their own sense....lotsa characters....lotsa ppl with diff vows...diff reasons.....diff....problems.....young boys,gals,aunties,uncles etc etc...soo many of them...of coz the crowd seemed rather difficult to manage though.....

hmm there were rubbish strewn everywhere..hmm....well....guess thats what happens..if the magnitude of ppl is high...hmm...there were lotsa indians n non indians as well...n of coz i feel grateful to all  the volunteers...police,traffic men...rela..st.john's...n many more who were involved in this festival....it's just wonderful....well i feel it might be kinda difficult for ppl of different religion or race..to be a part of this festival coz its a religious affair...well i guess that's what service is all about.....prepared to serve at any time,any situation....any condition....well mayb it's a give n take policy...after all this is a multiracial country....it's nice to know ppl are tolerant and understanding about each other's faith's and belief's....hopefully this understanding  will last..for generations to come....n there were lotsa tourist's as well.....video shot's..news coverage n wat not's.....

there were many activities there in batu caves...funfair's..eateries....blood donation centre's....donation centre's......mini stalls selling food,cloth's etc....well it was kinda blazing hot....but i managed to watch some of the kavadi's...n yeah tried to break a coconut...for sum one who doesnt frequent temple's...well i was dumbfounded to actually wat has to be done...there was a murugan temple.....well i just went over there n prayed....had a feeling to break a coconut.....so my dad bought for me one coconut...duh!....i didnt smash it hard enough for it to break properly....aii....well my mum said i should have smashed it harder...well better luck next time.....:)

n my bro's have been going there.....lolzz..of coz....they have their frens to hang out with....:)..they walked wif the chariot....guess their helping sum of their frens there at the mini shops...n they've been walking around ....they seem quite tired though...mayb coz of all the walking...around.....n of coz the crowd level is... magnanimous....but .....i couldnt stand huge crowds....well couldnt stay for a long time....as it was hot.....n there were lotsa ppl.....but it was kinda interesting and it was a merry situation.......after all it's once a year celebration....thaipusam:)

guess have to visit ENT tmrw to get my ear's  checked...rather itchy....on n off...kinda irritating....my sorethroat..well it's still there...now have flu...the last time i had sumtin like this...there was sum problem with the ears..guess it's all related.....n yeah my gum's swelled.....missed da appointment wif my dentist..they're gonna tear me to pices...as a prio patient...i should go for a regular check up.....tsk tsk.....n i just stuffed myself wif lotsa sweets today....duh!!!!!

on annual leave today n tmrw....hmm...the dept...just makes me sick....i messed up the other day....did a big mistake....well spoke to the team leader n other colleagues....felt better..they asked me not to worry...hopefully all is solved.....duh..i feel very guilty...i should have concentrated more.....:(....hmm..it'll be back to square one again i guess...after a long gap....working again...there's lotsa new stuffs n it's kinda confusing though...hmm...dont feel so well..have this feeling that i'm gonna fall sick.....big time.......

lookin forward....

lookin forward....wrote in here ...been having this feeling ...to run sum where...temporarily...run away from all my problems.....just me...n the environment...nothing in my mind...just pure silence.....n the admiration of the situation or scenery around me...a colleague of mine...told me we can go for a walk after work...this is sumtin to look forward to in my not so happening....not at all happening life...:)

things like this once in a while...will be moments to be treasured na....hope..i'll meet sum of my long lost frens...or bump into one of them...guess i miss them...n e ways....hmm nowadays i feel ravi's brainz is kinda corrupted as well...hehe...of coz...have been asking him to get married...that idiot doesnt want to get married...lolzzz...ne ways..mayb i'm a bad influence...hehe.....thach n ajen...they were talking too fast in msn...or mayb i was to slow to catch up as i was working...well i am still new i cant afford to make mistakes.....well...as usual...they were arguing about sumtin.....or was it...just collision of opinions....well i might have taken thach's place.....munching popcorn's...had i not been at my workplace......lolzz...

still feeling not so good...wif probzzz....but hopefully today will be a good day...well i can only hope...

hmmm...

hmmm...back to work tmrw.....still not feeling very well....guess have to do some reading....thought of going out.....but...nope i guess...have this feeling of running away from everything to sum where...any where....duh!!!!! weird feeling.....

hmm..gotto get my ear checked.....unbearable....now n then....feel kinda irritated....but....came across this movie "kanavu meipada vendum"...haven't finished watching it...seems very interesting...a diff kinda story....reminded me of sum of foreign films as well.....used to watch foreign lang film's also...well it help's to have subtitles....sum of the stories are amazing....well this movie seems different...though the story might seems to move rather slowly...its interesting...i like it...:)...sumtin diff..well lemme see if it stays that way till the end....tmrw its back to work mode....aii.....well i'll try to be optimistic...hmm...as long as my ears dont give up on me...:)

bleh!!!!!!

bleh!!!!!!....sumtimes i just cant understan sum ppl.....no matter how hard i try....duh!!!.....wat to do...okies this two three days...has not been so well...had earache...toothache....sorethroat...pathethic....i dunnolah...job nenaichi aluvaratha....job irukkunu sirikiratha....health bad nu aluvaratha.....life irukunu sirikiratha...unnum puriyiley....

ellam enn neram....:(

aiyoo..

dozed off...

dozed off...was kinda tired....n hungry...stuffed myself wif food n dozed off...got up sum time back..wif a sore throat....muz drink lotsa water....still feel kinda sleepy...well...have not been able to sleep well for the past two three days....feel tired but sleeping around 2 or 3 am..duh!....n rise up early...hmm...

so far...i havent started anything yet...juz learning sum stuffs....headache....all those technical terms n jargons...gosh...i dunno how i am gonna pull myself together.....am trying to suit myself to the environment...but i do visit my first level now n then...n disturb my teammates...hehe....i'm a pain in the...ahem sumtimes....

well spoke to a fren of mine...hmm...she told me that she had a relationship once......i mean is still having probz....coz she broke off around last year..well it took me by surprise...i didnt realise it..duh!...i'm the last one to know.......all da time.......she told me her probzzz n all....of coz...i'm lousy in da matters of the heart section...but i did ask her  if she spoke to her man bout it...n it seems things didnt work out....hmm...this relationship thingie....is kinda weird ....but i guess if its not meant to be its not meant to be....but... but then again...u can alwiz try to patch things up...but if it doesnt work then...well...wat can be done...aye...

hmm......feel sleepy again....duh!!!...eat sleep..eat sleep only...bleh!!!!!....am gonna turn into a fat baboon...soon....ermm..as if i am already thin...hehe

hmm...

huh?

huh?..been writing in here for nearly 7 months...wow....

no mood to eat...so i thought i'll scribble sumtin here in my luxury time.....hmm...was joking around wif my fren here....of coz....n then...had nothing to do....so i was thinking...mayb i should just open back my old books n refresh my brain cells..for sum reason i dunno why i'm kinda absent minded these days.....hmm...n i feel i've forgotten most of what i've learned...it's not that i'm a walking encyclopedia....at least i know some teeny weeny things before..now...ermm...

well two long years away from books n stuffs..making my brains go rusted......my lang out of the window....my writing skills in the drains n my calculations...as if i was good at it before is in the drains.......tsk tsk.....well my fren asked me to come again...to join em for dinner as another fren was leaving...i dont know if my parents will lemme go...ne ways...dont feel so good either today.....mayb lack of sleep ...i dont know....i think i'm not going...thats what i told my fren earlier....n my monthly thingie...was another factor which disturbed my sleep....n i feel kinda tired n...no mood to work kinda feeling .....well wish i was at home...:)...would have been wonderful....

n yeah...each time i see the guys pix....i'm still trying to figure out if it was the same guy...lolzz..pathethic... guess i'll put myself at training for a while n go upstairs n train myself...for tmrw...aiii....

:)

hmmm....i havent add in anything here...yet....well....hmm ben a few days....well it was ponggal on friday...ermm i thought it was on da 15...bleh!!!!.....theivamey...getting old...n eways....ponggal was okies went over to uncle's house...was supposed to give thach a call on fri...but i didnt...well....had earache so poured something into my ears...so i was thinking...naah it was late...n it would be weird if i called n i couldnt hear well....lolzz...so i postponed n called yesterday nite...

it was nice talking to thach....well a matured person wif a matured voice....:)...well had to cut the conversation short coz i didnt have much credit left in my phone ....will call her back sum other time after i had reloaded sum credit...broke...hehehe...of coz i had to change to my dad's phone..as for the time being...my phone is a gone case...hopeless.....well as long as i can sms...it should be ok....i dont use the phone much anyways...*allergic.com* winks to herself.......

well had tea wif my colleagues n went around KLCC for a while wif my fren...soon i was back home....couldnt sleep till nearly 3 am yesterday...well after two weeks of sleeping late...it was kinda difficult to sleep yesterday nite.....well the end of nite shifts.....back to morning shift....:)...am kinda sleepy....lolzz....couldnt get up...but it's ok am in da office now....monday seems scary though......aiii.....

well well......

well well......there are some new ppl here at my place.....so havoc as usual.....next week will be living hell for me.....hmm..i told my dad today if i can take it it'll be ok...if not i'll either request to go to my current dept or sum other dept...or i'll just quit da job...dad said i should give it a try...everyone sez i should give it a try....hmmm......

just reminds me of a phrase...."everybody thinks i'm fine"...lemme add 2 tat...."everybody believes  i'm fine, everybody sez i'm fine" except 4 me.....duh! gees i was thinking of writing......yeah got hold of it.....

there's this guy which i met in campus sum time ago...its a big bizarre story....sum time back...as i was leaving the office...i thought i just passed by sum one i knew...then i stopped on my track...it was the guy's fren...i was thinking..this couldnt be.....lolz...dont tell me both of them are working here....well...i thought mayb my judgement went  wrong ....mayb it's not the same person or mayb he had sumtin to do over here....then after sum time...after sum months....there was this bill board near my office....i caught hold of it one day...only to realise i remember one of the faces there...it was very very familiar.....n guess wat....it was him.... ..my senior...lolzz....in da billboard posing wif others.....but then again...i'm still bewildered....wther it's the same person ...well it seems there can be 7 ppl in da world wif the same face or sumtin like that....well i thought he was still continuing his studies....well god knows wat he's doing now...bizarre....modelling?..will i used to bump into him n his fren soo many times a day sumtimes...it was so bizarre...i still cant figure out wat it was all about about...hehe...me n my coursemate will just look at each other sum times....coincidence?.mayb :) ahem......of coz my coursemates were happening chicks....n still are i guess...*it's a weird feeling ..hanging around happening ppl...well guess i neva get along well wif happening ppl.....mayb coz i am not happening at all....just a very simple person....come to think about it...i dont get along wif ppl very well.....hmm......weird..*mayb...i just keep everyone at a distance....mayb thats the prob...i'll just be close to those i feel like i wanna be close to ...but then again.....the distance is still there...i guess....a sense of detachment......duh!....w

well i was a out of focus... naive idiot....... then...hmmm i'll be the target person for notes....if ppl skipped classes.....duh... n they'll get better marks then me...well wat to do...am slow n lazy...hehe.....aii...of coz now i've turned into a brutal b**ch.....guess have alwiz been one....

lotsa...

lotsa...things....well....was on off on sat n sun....this week...well used my sat to the max...had a training....on sat...well it was for an hour...went around wif a colleague n i guess we've clocked 4 hours of walking non stop...of the 5.5 hours...okies mayb i clocked 4 hours coz my colleague went back home halfway....a chat fren grumbled via sms coz i didnt meet him..well we were at the same place actually...didnt realise though.....even if i had realised....naah...hmm......well that's a diff story...and..nearly missed ajen's b'day coz i thought it was on another date n yesterday was thach's b'day....felt  really really tired...yesterday...

after all those walks around the city felt as if...hmmm....guess my legs are giving up on me....well the after effect of not been walking much....well not much excercise wat else....then the important stuff...got promoted...well been asked if i want go to the other division guess nearly three times..sum time ago....i rejected....then....well mainly due to my low self esteem n lack of confidence.....the main part was i was scared to jump into sumtin that i didnt know much or anything about....well this time i thought i'll give it a try..n mayb the fact that a few of my batchmates coming in the same intake....well...it'll help a lot...had training the whole day today....gone my sunday.....dunno wat shit...all seems so new...kinda blur....n the fact that i am from a totally different field is of real disadvantage....but wat the heck...if other ppl can do it..why can't i?.*sum kinda pep talk bleh*..but in this new division the customer's that we have to handle are a  real bunch of crappy snobbish pest's...well wat to expect in da 2nd level....hmm..that's my current impression..i really dunno how i am gonna go through all this...i guess i'll just have to try...if i cant at least i tried...if i can..well i'll learn sumthin new......a diversion from my current position which seems like routine to me now...n who knows this might increase my opportunities in the job market....god knows...wat ever it is....i'll just have to wait n see....ergh tmrw back to nite shift...still one more week at my current dept...till i get chucked to another dept...*aluvarathu...sirikaratha...theriley*

still feel kinda tired...physically n mentally....after my brains got stuffed up with too much of data's of foreign origin today....aii...betta get sum sleep...sum peaceful sound sleep...been a long time.......guess i cant recollect much incidents today...i'll update tmrw...gd nite bloggie...:)

now what......

now what......hmm...yesterday lotsa calls...no time to move here n there...simply put breaks...away n stuffs like that....hmm...got tired...answering calls...even today....well feel like i'm gonna get a headache...hopefully not...pleaseeee....wat was i thinking...was thinking want to write a lot over here...forgot...bleh....

lemme scrap it from my head...hmm...seems like other probz have cropped from this tsunami n quake disasters..children who have no one to turn too....are being sold...raped....used to manipulate money n wat nots.....some people can be so heartless...i think they left sumthing called  "heart"....in the dustbin or sumthin like that...pathethic!

currently on my luxury time.....gees so many calls....headache...aiiiiiiiiii....:(

restless..part 2

restless..part 2....well....seems like more colleagues are leaving....headache.....not much ppl...lotsa calls....tensed tensed...now nights shifts...i hate night shifts...the impact seems to be more...mayb i should just shut it out of my mind....

hmm...mayb ome of these day i'm just gonna walk off....stressed up....ne ways amidst all this...was kinda happy...well sum rotten cust spoilt my new year day though...pathethic...but i called a fren of mine in bangalore...well seems like i have to change my phone....seems like there is some problem with it even after i changed the battery....so had to use my dad's phone...well  the first time i called wif my phone the line went off...well the second time it was okies...he was kinda happy i guess....from his voice i realised...well it's been nearly a year since i last called.....well it choked my prepaid acct but what the heck...i was very glad indeed to hear his voice too...we've not been meeting online for sumtime now....each have our own life...own problems...missed the times n missed him a lot too...well sumtimes i wonder if he's still the same....

well after the long gap..whenever he comes online it seems difficult to communicate again...mayb because of the long gap....but wat the heck...he was online again yesterday n we discussed about sum issues...well when i  called ...i realised...he was doing some relief work in india...

great...got to know more about it when he came online yesterday...he was back in bangalore.....hmmm...got to know....he got promoted n stuffs like that..well am happy for him...:)...hope to see him online soon...:)

the list goes on....

the list goes on....the list of the dead people seems to increase....day after day.....there's news of massive destruction in some countries....according to sources 12 countries are affected...it's sad to know that aids from everywhere around the world aren't reaching the affected countries especially remote ares due to inaccessiblity to those areas...

i just hope all the fundings will be used properly to aid all those ppl who're affected...those who are dead....they will no longer be around...but those who are injured ....the survivors...these are the ppl who need the help most.....so many ppl homeless..many children have lost their parents..many more witout food....the list goes on......countless are suffering from after shcoks...the sudden loss of their loved ones,their job..their home...things will never be the same for many....

well today i was watching da news...they had some images...disturbing images indeed.....unbearable misery....ppl wif injuries....lack of medicines...lack of proper sanitation...etc etc...ppl tied up.....their hand or legs......just to stop them from reacting in pain...whilst the necessary procedure was carried out by the doctors....i wonder if they have aneasthethics there......it just reminds me of the world war 2....then...there was not much of an advancement in many fields....but now we have everything.....it's just that the affected areas ....mostly are poor ppl.....but that doesnt mean they should be denied proper treatment just because they're poor....it's not as if ppl are not only going through the shock of the whole...catastrophe...they also have to live wif injuries and scars which will haunt them forever......

well....it's good to know everybody's chipping in to help...in one way or another...via donations...via volunteers....it's a good feeling to know humanity still prevails...lots of ppl ....good hearted ppl....they're not expecting anything...all they wanna do is help.....anyways....everybody are trying their best...

as i sit n watch tv everyday...i see many are left wif bleak dazed look......not knowing wat to do...n i am rather dazed myself when i see all this..... wat is going to happen to them in the near future n wat else is going to happen...in the near future....but the smiles of the children....they put a smile on my face.....n the tales of lucky survivors....they are lucky indeed....