headache part 2.....
09.30.04 (12:02 am) [edit]okies....wat can i say...dimwittism?...i know i was having a headache...n yet i read the book which gave me the headache in the first place...my god....at sum instance i was just stumped when i seriously couldnt unnerstan what the characters were talking about...n i was confused wif the lang....ye..was you..yer was your...n wat not's...kwang kwang kwang....well i just zoomed here n there...flipped the pages n did speed reading......n boy....its really detailed...u know wat i mean....well...lets not get into that...hmm....well its all the same..boy meet gal...they fall in love ..n get married story....but the era....i actually realized..there were 5 diff era'a..well...it was 5 diff books n e ways...
okies there was this era...long long way back....n in this book..there was this handfasting theory...where by...the man gets to have the women for a year and a day...wif an agreement that if she bore a child ...the man will marry her or if not....even if they part ways the child will be legal...hmm...or if the women does not bore any child they can part after a year and a day....n in this era...women have no say...they're just baby producing machines so to speak....
n then there was this book....hmm...a story about a men who lost his wife...n how he came about to cope with it.learn to grief...n..u know start a new life..just when he realised he found sum one...well.....things didnt turn out well...well that was another form..of story...n he stayed single...till well...the author stopped there.....
n then...this book...cowboy kind of era....where they just have licence to kill....bang bang bang....n this book...had some twist in it...there was murders...robberies...n of coz ...love...well...women were much more ...well a bit progressed ...can i say?
then another one was ...like the industrilization era.....well....there was some drama too....and of coz....tt was deemed ackward for a women to mix with men or give opinions ....so to speak again....
n last but not least......the modern era....well...women are well educated in this era....they give out opinions...work together with men....and even challenge em to some extent....well...women have progressed....indeed....
looking back...women enjoy the freedom today...thank you to some men and women ...who took things to their stride and challenged the things deemed norm...n made life of the women today...wat it appears to be today..progressed n progressing..emotionally ..spritually and intelectually.....:)
well....yesterday was terrible.....the headache didnt go off....n i didnt know wat to do...it was already...1 sumthing in the morning....n the only soul i know who would be awake at that time was saran....well...i disturbed his piece of mind of coz....by complaining....lolzz...well he was kind enof to respond...hehe...well he even said he'll sing a lullaby...*wonder if that would have made my headache worst*...hehe....naah...i said...n soon decided sms'ing aint gonna do no good...as the h/p light just made it worst...i said bye...n tossed n turned till it was sumthing like 3 am in the morning before i finally dozed of....earlier today..it was yesterday...i guess...i was talking to saran bout dreams...little did i know....that i would dream about my own fren...a very good fren whom i have not heard any news from...been 8 years....n i was thinking about this fren of mine...weird.....i rarely dream...well even if i do...it'll be what happened earlier in the day or some nightmares....like quarrels with cust's or some school incidents....but then again....its been sum time since i actually dreamed bout ppl....well i hope this fren of mine is fine n well.....:)....there goes my lunch updating this blog....aiii....
headache part 3? aiyoo...just had a difficult cust..she made me go up to the other floor twice just to check if her faxes came over...well i couldnt be bothered...i didnt want to argue....so i took my own sweet time...put that lady on hold...and rummaged though the faxes....the second time i got the fax....the best part it ...the sickening bill dispute will take months to solve,but the lady has been waiting for sum time......hmm...well i have to answer her tmrw or the day after...talk about me n my big mouth eh?....why should i be bothered anyway...mayb i should have just shove it unto someone else's shoulder....cheh!....n i am thinking wat to ans...hmm....now they're having sum kinda function in the office....hehe am on training session...the best part is...everytime they have a function in the office...just before any function i'll get sick annoying cust's and thats it....they'll just blow up my mood to pieces...lolzz..no mood to join in anything at last...aii...so here i am thrashing everything here so i can relax a bit and then well i might just have a good time...let tmrw's problem ..be tmrw's prob....i'll put it at rest first :)
o yeah i was supposed to add sum more...each team has to come up with a song bout the co.,so....my colleague..my teammate actually brought a guitar over....so he was fooling around...n then another guy joined in...they played sum tunes....n me n my group juz hummed along or sang a note or two.....sum of them can really sing....it was real fun...though i have a problem to remember lyrics....i just like listening to the tunes played by 'em.....of coz.....we had our own mini function...hehe....well laterzz on...the main programme took place.....but that lil' time spent with my group members...was just...nice...:)...thought of asking the guy to bring over the guitar n play sum more songs ...especially on weekends when the calls are not much...ermm hopefully ...hehe...:)
headache.....
09.29.04 (11:37 am) [edit]headache.....well....i finished reading 4 books outta 5...but the last one...aiyoo..its a bigtime headache....filled with english history...for sumone like me who knows...very little or mayb nothing of the english history...its just a big headache.......i cant make out which is which....so many names..titles..etc etc...well i finally made out which is which...thought its rather blurr....well its a classic romantic story...my god...the amount of love stories in my head now....4 novels n add this 5...gosh....well i seriously have a headache now....after this...guess i'll swerve back to sum thriller stories...or mayb sum other genre.....got to know some shops renting out books..hmm....
hmm...but the story its not bad either...guess i'll read the whole book first before i judge it...:)....well....tmrw back to work....hope all is ok there...wat happened...today...nothing much real..been just lazing around at home....chatting n browsing websites....hmm...i guess enof for today...i guess i betta sleep.... early
aiyoo..just before i doze off...i thought i'll get a glimpse of kalakel....thach if ur reading tiz...its so deserted...wonder where has everyone gone too....thach do u still keep in touch wif anyone?...hmm.. i am sure u have contact wif ice...ajen is ok...i still meet him online now n then...but wat about the rest?...hmm....only now i spotted a b'day wish ...my b'day wish on the announcement...aiyoo.....how come i didnt notice....*slaps her forehead*...n *slaps her forehead again* aiyoo.....ermm i left a very very very belated thank u note....:(...hmm...guess kalakel is just gone for good...i miss the good times....it really made a diff once...:)..juz sad its not like it used to be.....
today...
09.28.04 (7:48 am) [edit]today...well...just had this thought suddenly ...how would it be like to be illiterate ...i tried to imagine how it would be like...how would life be like....in this era where literate ppl are taken advantage of...i can only see a bleak future....or not many ppl care about this group of ppl...everybody wants the best of everything.....but yet....where do this group of ppl land....
come to think about it...everybody has some kinda talent...its just that...not many ppl get the support....the moral support......well of coz there is the saying...if there is a will there is a way..but not many ppl are lucky are they...they're just labelled failures..sum ppl neva get to know their talents....some end up in vice activities....but some determined ppl....beat the odds ...n prove that they can make it just like everybody else...:)...hmm....
well...actually...i was supposed to write about sumthing else today....why am i blabbing about sumthing else...*shakes her head* :).....well....as i am a programmed robot...hehe a term i call myself nowadays....well its kinda like i am so used to the standard greetings n stuffs....nowadays ...even if i attend a call at home...i'll be like yes sir no sir...yes maam...no mam....have a nice day...blah blah blah...so far i have managed to stop myself from saying the standard greeting to my fellow frenz...guess soon one of these days...i'm gonna do that too....talking bout this....i remembered about sumtin...well gues it was last year....i was relatively new to my job...so i was learning bout the job....n it was sumtin like a get to know my colleagues n my working environment time.....there was this gal...well a senior staff...i was talking to her...me n a nother colleague..we were disturbing her..as it was our lunch time....whilst she was handling calls....well she finished...talking to her cust...suddenly....her h/p rang...n she blurted out the whole complete standard greeting...to whoever it was on the other end.....me n my fren...just looked at each other n then we looked at that gal...n i guess she realised she just spoke to her fren like that.....sorry to say...we just burst out laughing.....hehe..hehe...n lots of other tales like that.....:).....guess soon i'll be talking like a robot...no feeling nothing...just like an IVR....no emotions....nothing...just..delivering..facts n facts n more facts.....just like a machine...hehe...living machine...with a heartbeat..:)
sumtimes...part 2
09.24.04 (6:04 am) [edit]sumtimes...part 2....was reading paper.....well...paper its sumthing like my gateway to the outside world....paper addict ....i can say...:)...the other day i was reading...about this kids in darfur....n they dont have enof food to eat....reminds me of so many other incidents like this...so many other countries....africa , n so on.....
n of coz not to mention the wars n such....when i was a kid...i used to think...u know its kinda fun to be in another country mayb the ...most advance country in the world....coz i used to think back home here.... they have so many rules n regulations n stuffs.....everything was kinda slow..especially when i was in school....now looking back....i truly like my country....all those rules n regulations were meant for good....though i wished...som shld be relaxed a bit...or not to biased..hmm...well they have their pro's n con's.....but wat the heck,....this has been the place which i had been waking up everyday....this place has given me shelter..of coz...nothing comes for free...u've got to work...:)..a place to call home.....a family....ppl to call frenz....a society...a multicultural society...so much of culture....diverse culture...religions....diff practices of faiths....its kinda wunnerful....i mean ...sumtimes it just reminds me of all those instant packages...3 in 1 ...4 in 1....well... i guess its kinda masala mix here....well...its really suvarnabumi...for all i know....
i dread to think....if....*touchwood*...if there is war over here....it'll be worst then living...i'll call it living hell....naah....shouldnt....hmm....i dont want to think bout that...well.....hmm...soo many ppl leaving their country...a lot of bloodsheds in some countries.....kinda devastating....to leave one's own country because u just have to leave coz u cant bear to live there anymore...its just stressful i guess when u have to make that kinda decision...hmm...no peace at all....
...well here...i guess we're just spoilt for choices...so much of food.....so much of this n so much of that.....overhere....we're eating ...more then we should...lolzz....well i'll do that often...eating has become a passion for me...especially when i am totally stressed...i'll just stuff myself wif food.....dimwit.....n after tat...to think of the left overs....hmm..then to think of the darfur kids.....this world is just not fair..why shld sum of us suffer...n sum of us not........it just isnt fair.....cheh....i have a bad flow of ideas today...aii...hmm... i guess.. i am just thankful to be here...at this time...at this moment...though...the crime rates are going sky high nowadays...which makes me detest nespapers nowadays....well...i think i need to come back tmrw...to edit this blog again....bunch of craps tonite....cheh!
was supposed to edit this blog today...aii no mood leh!...hmm...edited ...still feel as if i have not blogged out my mind today too...aii
sumtimes...
09.23.04 (6:26 am) [edit]sumtimes...i've got this feeling tat my prob is the worst prob..in the whole wide world......just till i've got to hear another person's prob...n immediately...sumtimes i feel my prob is totally nothing compared to the other person....hmm....most of the times i'll just be grateful i am not going through that....or...be amused on how others manage themselves at sum crucial moments in their life....well for sum ppl....daily life...is a task....hmm.. i cant find a suitable word...n yet they go through life each day.....well....sheer determination to live....lots to learn from 'em.....stop...reality strikes me straight on my brain cells...n i'll stop whining for a while....:)....n cherish wat i have...before i go blabbing again.....
hmm...i guess i am happy coz i have flaws....these flaws remind me of sumthing.....these flaws reminds me that i am not perfect...n so ...i should not seek others to be perfect......hmm...guess if i am all too perfect...i'll just be an egoistic bimbo...n blah blah blah.....i reckon so....mayb i am too engulfed wif tiz yin n yang thingie....hmm....guess i am happy to have my own yin n yang to my very own personality.....guess i kinda need a balance ...too much of either one just spells disaster as it is spelled....hehe....now now...i was supposed to write sumthing else....today...i was supposed to go to the dentist....there ...i saw a few aunties... n some uncles waiting for treatment...well senior citizens day i presume...hehe...so there i was with this group of aunties....n one of the aunties was telling a story....n it was about her son...who was having some problems...dental problems....i couldnt help narrowing my eyebrows n shrinking my face...as it sounded so painful....yes it was indeed...as the dude was having probz...the auntie was saying "gigi susunya tak pernah jatuh,kemudian gigi yg sepatutnya tumbuh lepas tu...menusuk keluar...kena potong ...gusi n stuff"...gees...n he's be in n out for treatment nearly for 4 years now...i dunno wther its for his whole mouth...but currently i guess the treamtment today was for the front portion.....hmm...i compared that to mine...i was no where near...no where at all....i mean u've got to actually wait for the teeth to grow for nearly a year n that too when ur a teen....gosh!...i know how it feels like when some so called teens...inconsiderate dimwits....tend to bully around.....n the dude came out from the clinic....n i guess he was supposed to drink milk only for a week...gess a torture for a 20 year old....well he's working now...one week MC...okies okies.....bleh!....well....i guess he'll have a wonderful set of teeth in the near future :)...
well now my prob....i went over to check my denture...only to be told...i've got to wait for yet another month.....aii...coz they have to repair it again....n eating wif the old denture...seems like a chore....it's painful each time i try to eat...well i guess normally i'll just munch...forgetting the pain...but when i reach home...my mouth just aches....lolz....n i have to bear it for another month? gimme me a break....:)...mayb i can go dentureless to work...become a celebrity of sum sort...of coz for all the attention......kwang kwang kwang....
well...wat else...yeah as i was waiting for another appointment...there...this grumpy uncle was complaining to me...that the ppl are slow lah..he's been waiting for a long time....bleh bleh bleh!...i was like...hmm.....after a while i left that place n went walking around....the clinic....n then visited the other floor ..neva been there.....so today i thgt..i'll go aroun.......they had sum pix.....i'll brb to edit....gosh! wat was i saying...
o yeah...pix....i dont want to sound mean...but just i'll just put it as i have a weak stomach.....hmm...i saw a whole lot of pix.....i guess i saw a few diff dept...or sections shall i say.....from ok to very ...hmm...bad....n it was as if the pix were telling me that if i dont take care of myself i'm gonna be just like tat....aiyoo scarry........n there was if i am not mistaken orthodonthic...well watever...i cannot get it right...this is wat i call a dentist cum mechanic....there was this pix...this guy...he had a long jaw....and another pix after ops...the guy had a normal jaw...guess the doc cut of the jaw bone n screwed it at the end......guess till ....mayb till the patient recovers...the screw will b there?..i dunno........well i guess this is wat they say no pain no gain?...hmm braces n crowning n stuffs.....of coz the other sections had pix's of mouth cancer's and aids related illness's...well...this are severe cases....
well...after that...of coz..followed dad to brickfileds...had to get sumtin.....even in the afternoon....the place was crowded...ever happenin brickfields i guess...:)...lotsa ppl walking....of coz not to mention the traffic....of coz vivekanda ashram...where they have yoga n meditation..classes....its a nice place..that ashram...:).....lotsa condo's around....well kl sentral..and all those shops...not to mention kedai makan....hehe...thosai's n stuff...:)...gees i wrote so much....i have more to write...guess i'll save it for tmrw.....:)....
kwang kwang kwang.....
09.21.04 (2:30 am) [edit]kwang kwang kwang.....well...have not updated for the past two days..nothing much really....well....will have two days off again..kwang kwang kwang...but then have to start on night shift again....*yucks.com*...but then again...guess i'll do sumtin for the coming two days...n e ways ....still have to pay the dentist a visit on thurs..hmm...
hmm...wat else...well yesterday was just fine i guess...well waiting for today to finish....:) well as alwiz..hmm...currently on my luxury time...hehe thats why i am blabbing all tiz here..:)...i'll update more later...
interesting day...
09.19.04 (8:11 am) [edit]today was quite interesting...had training today too...but we were given sum extra time...well i used it to go to klcc again...well this time wif sum colleagues....so spent sum time wif them..halfway through they decided to go back to the trainin centre....well...i decided to stay back.....n tour klcc...whilst i was touring...well i have this bad habit of not noticing wats happening around me....so most of the times that means i dont notice the ppl around me too..hmm..i dunno..mayb its inferiority complex or plain i couldnt be bothered atti....suddenly....sum one pulled my arm......whilst i was browsing through the shops....well to my surprise it was my uni colleague...well she's working there..at one of the shops..was like a supevisor..... n i heard another fren is working there too in klcc....wow....nice to know...:)...but well had to leave though...well it was working hours...:) even though its a sunday....so i toured a little while more...n i was thinking...mayb i should give more importance to my surroundings...hmm its not that i dont observe or analyze my surroundings...well mayb i need sum improvisation in this quarter...who knows...i'll just bump again...wif sum other frenz...well...its kinda wonderful to meet ppl whom u have known ...but lost touch with... n to meet again...its kinda nice...:)...well...the convo will surely go like...how bout a...how bout b....do u still keep in touch...ur contact num?...lolzzz...this time...i'll try to keep in touch wif my frenzz..:)
n then ...at the final part of our training,...we've got to list down our goals n such....well when it came to my turn...i was like i am a cust svc staff now...but i dunno...wat i wanna be in the future...the instructor was like...u cant decide...well i was like yeah...hmm.. then she said...well u better decide fast...so that u dont have to be like me....only to realise when i am 40 ...wat i would like to be...wat i like to do....dont waste much time....
well the instructor n me had sumting similar though...n i sure aint gonna wait like her till i am 40 to realise wat i really wanna be....i know better late then never...but i hope i'll be able to find myself soon....:)...i hope so...
seriously...i forgot bout this yesterday...how could i....i have sum henna drawings on my hand...thanks to my cousin bro',,,,,hehehe...well its nice of him.....the design...its nice...
unexpected...
09.18.04 (6:30 am) [edit]well had training today....had some fun....well i guess ...i had lost passion for my job...thats why i feel frustrated nowadays...well i can revive it back cant i...hmm...interesting day i guess....well...the denture was working fine....well it is rather uncomfie to eat n all but its okies...i can manage wif it....well....went over to klcc...went rather early...dunno wat to do....heavy rain sum more....luckily a fren sent me over to klcc...cool....well...i went aroun like an idiot waiting for my frenz to come over...well since i didnt plan wat to do...i was basically walking to n fro...klcc floor by floor...well...some things...like the coffee aroma...n the smell...of cakes....n buns being baked....nyam nyam.....so delicious....well the aroma that is...n as i walked past some of the mini stalls there....there were gifts etc...beautifully done.....lots of stores....lots of this n that...n this time the place was jam packed...mayb coz its a saturday...:)as i was walking about like an idiot...i saw this...booth....they had something goin on...so i went over n stood there...n then there was this middle aged promoter...she asked me to go infront....i hesitantly moved forward a bit....she insisted i go to the front...i was like yeah rite! make up stuffs...bleh!....then she gently pushed me to then front n said now....u can view clearly wats being done n we're giving out samples.....hmmm...
fine fine...then there were these two beautiful..gorgeous women.,....they looked something like dolls....they seem like europeans...watever,,,they were just beautiful wifout the make up itself...the first model ...she looked as if she was bored,...but the make up artist did a good job...n another lady was explaining how to apply this stuff n tat stuff...interesting..it seems like an artwork....well the first lady looked beautiful..well finally she smiled.....the second model...well she seemed much more friendlier...she flashed a smile now n then.....it was rather genuine......then the artist added sum makeup.....well....she was superb too...n sum tourist even took pix wif em....n the ladies gave out the samples too...cool....well learnt something today...n went around.....well i was like walking n sms'ing at the same time....hmm......i didnt know how long i was doing that...i was messaging to my frenz...juz wanna know when they'll arrive...i was a walking sms'er...cool eh?...luckily i didnt fall down...or went around the same floor two three times or bump into sum one...hehe....
couldnt end my personal tour of klcc....as i finally had to wait for them outside for nearly half an hour...total boredom...n then..they came...hehe...well most of them didnt :(....hmm...it was raning..n the traffic was bad...well sum other time i guess.....we went over to eat.....had loads of stories to share.. n went back...well got caught in traffic again..well i had to leave halfway though.....n came back n stuffed my self wif food as today's vinayar chaturthi.... i was eating the whole day :).....waiting to meet them again sum time soon :)....well...tired...tmrw got training again n then back to work....:)
i should have...
09.16.04 (6:03 am) [edit]just banged my head to the wall or laugh my head out at myself?.....hmm...have to meet my frenz this week...now what am i gonna do wif an uncooperative denture...i sure cant eat n e tin...well i havent tried yet...it's gonna be a mess...coz its very hard to bite.....its like spring...aii.....or mayb i shld just take the playar n repair it myself...why does things alwiz have to be like tiz...y does it alwiz happen to me...y does it alwiz have to go awry.....y...y ..y! aii...n there's some festival coming over tiz week...hmm....well..as alwiz....guess....i'll just have to do sumtin....n i still havent read that classic book...somehow i just dont have the mood to read......
okies enof of y's for todays....hmm....i cant think....cheh!...i'll continue laterzz...
here i am again..on another note will these guys show up or not....aii...*slaps her forehead*...*grumbles*....or will i show up or not...hmm...n e ways i still have to go there...no choice....hmm...i'll just waint n see how things go...n for the time being....i'll just enjoy my slumberland for as long as i can....*enjoy the break*...:)
how could i have forgotten this...luckily i didnt mention a thing to my current employer...if not pochilah....now this is based on a previous experience...that too..thanks too a frigin bank...hehe...gees....alwiz have probz wif banks aye malathi....aiii.....
wat shall i say? kwang kwang kwang....?
09.15.04 (11:24 pm) [edit]hmm....well i was suspicious in the first place...which job that was offered to me...that fr****n comp...was that fr****n ...bank....that same fr****n bank...well...i thought ...finally i got the job which i applied to earlier......but i was too ....fr****n stupified.....i didnt question much...n the phone line was fr****n bad...wwell.....i tried to get back to the same lady...only to be told that she was not there...n they asked me to come over.....well well....i went over there only to know that its the same job ...its cust svc also...which i rejected two days back! @#$%%^^....my fault too...i should have confirmed...well......i informed the lady wat happened...she was sportive n she said fine its ok...then i talked to her...well ....discussed some issues...*i shouldnt be talking stories*...i know...well...i have a fren now...hehe...of coz i rejected the job again...seems like i'll be wif my current comp for a long long time!
well...on the way to get the so called appointment letter....i saw an accident...a lorry n motorbike....actually i didnt realise there was an accident....i suddenly spotted the fella laying on the road...motionless....the first thing i checked..wther his body intact or not...it was..not much injury...i didnt feel anything....juz noticed sum blood on the road...actually a lot....it was head injury....n he was motionless.....as if he was sleeping....something told me...the guy's dead.....hmm....after that...i kinda felt like my stomach was a bit upset...n i was thinking...*wat was the guy thinking before he died*......wat was it...
n then i saw another accident...a mild one wif two cars....aii...i was upset...no heart to go...no mood actually...to get the appointment letter....n e ways deep down inside....something told me..it was worthless anyways...n indeed it was!...when i was back home...i was just eating n eating n eating...pah!
n today...i went over to the hospital ...i shouldnt miss an appointment wif a dentist!...me n my big mouth!...i told the doc i had some probz wif my denture...its loose....n she took the playar....n mended my denture...*faint kwang kwang kwang*...i was like gone lah! if she accidentally break the steel....i cant wear it..well she tried this n tat...now that fr****n denture...i cant wear it...i cant bite...its like spring...its bouncing back n i guess i cant eat...great!..just when i will be going to work next week...i'll have to adjust wif this fr****n denture!....mayb no eating...or go to work wif out denture...!...ermm...naah!.i cant imagine explaining to everyone where my teeth's went can i?...tiring!....well the doc ...hmm....she took a new sample of my teeth..which means they stuffed sume yucky stuffs into my mouth....bleh!....well...they have a replica of my teeth set there....hehe....god!...i forgot to tell them wat kinda denture i want it to b...dielah....if they make some funny weird shaped denture...pochi....i should have just fr****n well shut my mouth...n just did the filling today!...but the denture was loose...i need to change it anyways....hope the new one will be ok...n guess...my off days gonna finish soon...gess...feel so lazy....*kwang kwang kwang*...but the doc was nice....pretty lady actually...hehe...wif coloured hair sum more...she looked nice wif tat hair colour...well....it wasnt so painful.....it was okies..this trip to see the dentist was not bad...:)
so...wats happenin?
09.14.04 (7:08 am) [edit]hmm...so wats happening here...got a call today from a comp.....well i got a job....hehe...suddenly i got a call...n all i know was ...the lady saying....i got the job n all...n i was going...huh?...aa ..aa ..aaa ok...fine....duh!....tmrw muz get the appointment letter n i dunno by when i have to start work!...gosh!...too fast aye...n just when i am enjoying my annual leave....hehe...seems like i dont have to step into my old office again....tough the job is kinda annoying...but the environment is lovely...the ppl are friendly....very nice ppl...mayb that's one of the reason i sticked to the job in the first place.in my current comp....:)...now though i feel... a new job will be a good start,,,but kinda worried....mayb a bit afraid...of the new environment....n ppl...well i know the environment will be much more hectic...wif loads n loads of pressure worst then this job...but the pay is not bad,,,its good actually...well though i dont like cust svc...well.....at least i'll be doing the same kinda job but with a better pay here ...since its a big organisation so i hope i can move around at other sectors or sumthin like tat....but then again this is also a contract job...hmm...well i have to perform well to be a permanent staff...i do have that option....well..i dunno how things are gonna be here in this new place....well i can just hope it will be ok...i hate night shifts...now here i am agreeing to a job wif a 24 hours shift rotation schedule....pah!.....guess am stuck wif cust svc for life ...:)....but then again...i'll keep my options open....:)...if not this job...then another....
musings..again
09.12.04 (8:00 am) [edit]well...i was at my uncle's house as usual....but today there were two babies at their house....wunnerful looking beings..one was juz 2 months old and another was a year plus.....notoriously cute....so i was playing aroun wif the 2 month old kid...dunno why i never feel like carrying babies around...so i was just clasping its hands....soo teeny weeny....so kutty kutty...hmm....of coz the fella was more active....well raising kids seems like a hell of a job....hmm...but the weird part is...the parents left them at my uncle's house n went out...it seems they do that quite often enof....makes me bewildered though...when i grew up....hmm....i neva left my parents....not even for a while....me n bro's are like that...n my parents neva seem to let us stay wif anyone....hmm...close knitted family? i dunno....i just feel insecure whenever...i lose sight of my parents when i was a kid.....hmm...
well wat to say....my parents ...theirs is a love marriage.....well unfortunately dissapproved from both sides...reminds me of sum tamil or bollywood soap opera....i even got to know some real time stories from my parents...but from the day i was born...though they have their pro's n con's....thank god...my parents have given their best...for us...n i am truly very thankful n happy for that...many a times have i seen broken homes....ppl wifout any so called relations......some ppl have to rely on others to move on...whilst sum others manage by themselves.....i am grateful...for what i have....they have sacrificied a lot....n went through...lots of hardtime....just to raise us...n i hope...we'll be good kids to them...i hope we wont turn out to be disastrously....ungrateful kids....hopefully not....
well for some reasons....i envy ppl wif grandparents...or big families...but then again....i can keep on wishing i had this n that....but i am truly satisfied wif wat i have.....:)...so whilst i was coming back home from my uncle's house...there was this radio show...all this ppl wif broken marriages will call in n tell their probzz......listening to their probz n witnessing sum real time incidents...there's not much confidence left in this so called marriage thingie.....hmm...when i think back....ppl from my parents era....the older generation..they'r a bunch of a committed lot..independent .......hardworking lot.....hats off to them......but back then....long time back..women were not treated well...but things gradually improved......but when i think about now...most of the marriages...
.are just like biz deals...or ppl are getting married coz everybody else is getting married...or i dunno wat other valid reasons they have...but normally but after 3 or 6 months or a year...divorce....hmm...well if the adults separate...who can be bothered.....guess they should have the capacity n capability to heal themselves.....but when it involves kids...its a truly shattering experience....when i put myself in those kids shoes.......just to imagine...aii...headache.....but i guess sumtimes things just doesnt work...rite?...but when things just doesnt work out for tooo many ppl.....too many broken homes...too many this n that.......then sumthing is wrong sumwhere...or mayb its just me aye?....have nothing better to think about?...hmm..just remembered...once a fren told..me tiz...she was so annoyed wif her dad...he was nearly 60 but still casanoving aroun....she was just devastated....hmm...i guess its just not fair eh?...casanoving hus must have casanoving wife...good combi?...okies okies....was just blabbing....hmm....mayb ppl like that shouldnt get married at all hmm.......how much annoyance they cause to ppl aroun them....their own family to be exact....but then again.....after reading those story books n history as it has been written...it seems a norm...for a man to a have a or a few or a few hundred mistresses or concubines or wat not.....bizarre...mayb women ..were deemed as slaves or inferior weak human beings...god knows wat then....so much or torture...so much of agony......well of coz there were the presence of sum wonderful men n women too then...n there still are....well in a positive light..men n women are dependant to each other....in a broader scope humans are dependent to each other...in sum way or many ways...hmm...glad to see women are in a positive spectrum these days........there is so much of advancement in a lifestyle of a women...compared to what a women had a few hundred years ago......well.......i dunno where i am heading wif this topic..aii.....why dunt i just mind my own biz. for the time being...i'll edit again...this blog.:)....
well even now i ponder....if i ever do get married..will i have to go through all this?..wat will i do if i have to...gosh....i'll b a real failure...but i am not one to give up easily...:)..well let time n tide tell....gees....my time is running out...i'll treasure my life as a single women for as long as i can...n i am truly gonna miss it.....i'm sure...at a later part of my life....:(...well have more to write...guess since i have weel o f holz...need to get lots of things out of my mind.....hmm...give my brainz sum space to load more thrash that is.....last but not least i am thankful for everything i have now....n i try to remind myself not to take anything for granted....all the time...
hehehe...part 2
09.11.04 (7:43 am) [edit]well...got to go to work tmrw....hmm..i wonder hows it gonna be after sumtime...had training to day.,...well met some of my colleagues...hmm..planned sumthing next week....well i got my leave approved...n i'll be on off till fri....hehehe...but sat n sun...i'll be having sum training...but after that...it's hell alrite...twoo weeks of nite shift....aii...hehe...i all tmrw...sure gonna have a hell of a day working tmrw...rusted mind...rusted....rusted....mind.....well i'll add again tmrw....
hmm...here i am at work again....yesterday nite...sometin weird happened....just before i fell asleep...i received a message from an old online fren...well surprised i got a good nite wish...i said tq n i got another response...after tat...i fell flat on my face...everything was just fine...until i suddenly woke up n start sms'ing...to whom...i dont know..wat was it..i can remember...then suddenly i jerked out from my sleep....i still dunno wther i was dreamin or i really sent out some thrash to sum one...kadavuley....aii....now it was 3.30am in the morning...i was scratching my head....neither can i remember wat was the dream all about or did i really do it.....eee... now after that i didnt get to sleep....lolzzz...disturbed already mah!...mayb the sms i received before i sleep...mayb i was thinking bout it when i dozed off...
mayb too much of sms'ing these days...mayb ought to cut down a bit....n next time i'll put the h/phone away from me when i wanna sleep..... aii...sleep....hehe... sleep is one of those wunnerful things...sumtimes i wish i neva get up...che...but everytime i get up...*checks for heartbeat....still beating* .....well just have to wait for my time i guess...till then i'll keep on babbling here....o yeah next week....hmm...i think i ought to lay down sum planz....for next week....n mayb i can use it to hunt for a new job...yeah..well sumtin like "apa kata survey" kinda thingie...hehe...well still a long way to go before i go back...hmm....guess i'll just surf the net...n find out if thr are any interesting websites...
well...
09.09.04 (7:43 am) [edit]well...guess i have nothing much to write today....even if i have...guess no mood to write...will update tmrw i guess.....seems like i'll have to edit this column tmrw...just for the sake of writing today...i'll post sum thing...well eventually finished reading the second book...well wat can i say...it was a good book...hmm...now am stuck with another book...wif classic lang' n classic name's ...bleh!...dunno if i'll ever finish it...too confusing.....i'll take it one at a time....seems like i have to read it slowly...aii....
hmmm..wat was i supposed to write in here...aiyoo...MC....i was never good at lying....n here i was in front of the doc...trying to lie i was sick...so that i can get an MC...i was thinking...wat to say...period pain...naah....then i was like okies my gastritis...i was feeling kinda bloated anyway...finally i got an MC....hmm...my lying skills...very very bad...not tat i dont lie...i do...but under certain circumstances ..just to save myself.....or i have rehearsed the lie well enough to say it confidently...wat a bleh!...i know i know...idiot....aii...but i feel it is still not good enough...must learn to lie...it will be useful...well wat else....hmm....got some lecturing from dad for being such a lazy pesticide....etc etc....a glum day....i was annoyed wif him..n wif everyone.but he was right....all this deactivated lifestyle...not good....so i was thinking n thinking...everyone at home not happy wif my lifestyle....yeah yeah...they're right...i am totally out of focus....i seriously dunno where i m heading...n i feel i am not good at anything...self pity? indulging in stress?...lack of self confidence or inferiority complex?....wat is bothering me....aiyoo i dunno wat it is.....deactivated n lazy as a pig....i remember...50 push ups was nothing 10 years back.....i was not so atheletic..but during P.E. class nothing was hard.....but..now even 5 push ups...is ...aii..so embarassingly pathetic..i cant lift my heavy self!
okies not ten years back..lets see....when i was in campus for three years...i was not as bad as this....i can run up n down the staircase of the seven storey building wif out much..difficulty...yeah i admit i was stressed up to the core...but i was active..n even when i was working in the gas station....though the pay was bad...n the job was tough....hey...it was fun...i was practically sweating...now nothing....eat sleep..eat sleep..very very bad...even my left arm is swelled up a bit after playing bowling....gees agony..but i've got a new passion....all this stress and watever it is going into the bowling alley...yeah thats right...each time i'm gonna strike a pin...i'll be like...if sum one blows my mood off or i'm feeling all time low...the bowling pins are gonna pay....no more diverting the stress or watever i am feeling anywhere else...its all gonna go to the bowling alley even though i am gonna have a swelled up left arm for sum time...hehe no prob...i'll try wif my right....then....
well have to build my lifestyle back...think of new hobbies...well this classic book is still pendin though..mayb i ought to excercise more coz my current job requires me to sit n type n talk n think all day...wif out much movement....gees thinking bout it makes me lazy....hehe...well well...see how far i can get myself working back to gain some fitness aye?...okies malathi..lets see how thing go...hehe
n i did find out something....i can work well with ppl..in some way or not..i can connect with them...but i just dont know how...or is my discovery right or not...or how trues it is...i have to do more research on that.....analayze n finally decude...cheh..sound like an experiment!
hehehe!
09.08.04 (7:40 am) [edit]hehehe!...i've got loads to type in here...hehehe!....now first of all my pc... crashed it gave up on me...juz when i was having my annual leave...can u believe tat?....i couldnt...it was so boring...i have so much of incidents stacked up in my brains...i dunno where to start from..well to make up for my boredom...i read storybooks...n too bad for me...my colleague had only romantic books at hand...okies twoooo weeks back i finished two novels....now in the span of 5 days..i had to read 3...novels....kwang kwang kwang....goes this will be a very lovey dovey week for me all rite....well the best part..the pain went off...so i was ok during the off days...it aint no sick leave holz...hehehe....but the stories werent bad....it was ok....well of coz...if i cant finish in this 5 days...n if my leave got approved nest week...i still need to read...hehe...so i'll save it...
hmm...i was so bored...i was resorted to try sum cleaning at home....only to realise i make more harm then good...hehe...breaking this n tat...well....well should have been a boy....hehe...but its too late for that now isnt it....wat else....yeah i must finish the second book...before that one last book...today is my last off day...n somehow...i managed to install back...the operating system n what nots ...hehe...the comp is running now...but i dunno how long it'll last...it's all based on trial n error...well i feel happy a bit...coz it didnt go all error all the way....hehe...u know something like erasing the whole memory of the pc or wat not....as if its n ot enough i crashed the operating system....watever.....
then went over to midvalley....cool....went bowling....now neva did i have ever tried bowling before in my life.....the ball was a bit heavy though...after two attemps...goin into the drain...finally...after tat...managed to hit .....not bad...most of the shot's...there were only one pin left....n to hit tat one pin....hmmm/.....neva did....hehe....so i went around shopped for the software n installed it...n here i am....lo n behold....am i nuts? i surely mighty am!......mayb surprised...stupefied....etc etc.....*evil laugh*
hmm...well recalling incidents.....well...a lady...nearly pushed me off the escalator...mayb i was blocking her way...or was it just the kiasuism....i am goin in first lady, int o that train.... theory!.....i was like pah!...bless ur angels women...i would sure not have been so nice on sum other days......*evil grin*.....then at the ticket counter of another train station....i gave the ticket counter fella 10 bucks...n he gave me 40 cents only....n then he continues...towith his work...i was like...hmm....after tat...he attended to another cust....i was like....hmm...still standing there...n he was like yes?...i was like..."i gave u 10 bucks"...luckily he didnt say i didnt...so...he saved his day didnt he....hehe...he was like did u...."i was like....grumbling to myself...did i it seems"...he gave me my balance...then off i was wif a tq...n a smile to continue the journey wif another fren....hehe.....hmm.... soo many thing.....where do i sum it up...yeah...
been sum time....since i actually travelled on my own.....lolz....so actually today i was supposed to come back home wif a fren...only to be told that she had another plan....duh!....a bit blurred though.....hehe...well managed to travel back...luckily it was lrt n komuter...if taxi n bus...tats it!...i might as well be lost in the city for god knows how long!...hehe...so much for my public transport knowledge...*bangs her head wif a broom*....
of coz...my younger bro boasts his much more better bowling skills...hehe...so wat can i do.."just keep my mouth shut"..tat is...hehe...i wrote so much...such a nag!....naggy nag!....i betta shut out my brains n save for tmrw...!
hmm...
09.03.04 (11:16 am) [edit]doesnt seem so good....guess am gonna fall sick....aii....juz waiting for the office hours to finish...will be my last day,...then off to have my leave....but then again....hopefully it wont be a long sick leave...aii...hmm....kinda bored...:roll:
well am listening to some songs here....so i dont indulge in my boredom too much....hmm...hopefully i wont get into a mess till i leave my office today...hehe....i am just feeling very annoyed to get angry...hehe...like thach said...weird combination....lolzz...well if i do get angry somehow.....now that will be very annoying indeed.....hmm...duh!!!
hmm..thought of editing back tiz blog....*weak smile*...the system went down...aiii..bad....well....am on my luxury time now...n i have sum reason to smile..just got two story books...from my colleague...now i have 3 novels to finish.....ermm...all seems to be romantic novels....hmm nvm...at least something..:)...so nice of my colleague...ami....:)...n i am very very....hungry too...hehe...i'll continue laterzzz....
editing again...NOW with a WEAKER smile...aii i dont think so i'll get all my A/L...aii..seems like three days pending...but the first leave got approved...hmm :(...seems like i can bring forward...the three days...lets wait n c........
wat a day..part 2
09.02.04 (10:11 am) [edit]hmm...hopefully...this wont go missing too...hmm...juz now the whole thing went missing i was too annoyed to get angry..*crosses her fingers* please dont dissappear....i am too tired to type back.....
well.....was still in cloud nine mood today...but then u can call it semi cloud nine......i had weird calls today...then i actually fought wif this bozo...n too bad this bozo got me...the biggest bozo around...hmm...i suddenly got pissed of...i blew my head of smithereens....he was a piece of useless crap anyways....well...got to know the call was recorded...did i give a shit? blady hell no...i was just lazing around..taking my own sweet time...i was something like the .......tortoise...moving slowly....n i was thinking slowly....but wif a semi cloud nine mood....
my colleagues where like....dating again?...i was like yeah...i am....tmrw how?...tmrw back to normal...no more dating...i took a short nap...but still seem out of focus...wonder whats gonna happen tmrw...aiyoo....not only am i tired n sluggish...i stuffed myself wif food...just now...aii....betta get some sleep....o yeah...finally got to know..my annual got approved....:)..hmm ..i cant remember wat i wrote just now...cant recall anything new either..laterzzzzzzz
i simply loved it...
09.01.04 (9:07 am) [edit]i simply loved it thach...the story was wunnerful...i was going like...wats next...wats next.....hehe...well got a bit gloomy when the the dude's granpa died.....n how come diva fell for anjali....i mean when did he.....hmm.....i thought she was after him rite?....mayb u can add in more garam masala.....well it was nice...i had some good laughs....as if it was not enof i was in a cloud nine mood today....i giggled n laughed sum more.....should have seemed like an idiot today....smiling like a crackpot....o yeah there were some gloomy moments too...hmm...
hmm....then wat else...yeah...i've got sum plans for my upcoming annual leave....got 6 more days to go...n had to finish it b4 the contract expires....well...i'll be on leisureland for nearly 10 days ...inclusive of the normal off days...wah lau......hmm..another colleague has promised to borrow another two books...n i have already got one....n it'll be lotsa slumberland i guess...n hmm....if the plan works...i'll be having sum fun too//hehehe....kakaka :)...hmm..before that...the dentist comes first..yucks....dunno wat kinda experiment they're gonna do tiz time aroun...malathi..."ur fried my dear"...gosh!...well...tmrw...day 3 of work....aii...hope everything will b ok....:)
i can't believe it....
09.01.04 (3:23 am) [edit]i just cant believe it....i just felt i had to write some where n here i am....lolzzz....am on cloud nine day....well the ugly duckling....well thats me....rarely is on cloud nine ...well today i am....the whole day i have been smiling...like an idiot...for no apparent reason....well...hehe...got a bunch of new dresses...so i wore one of them to work today....
well i stepped in to the office.... the first question was...ur goin for a date? i was like stumped..what?....n the other...ur goin for any function?...i was like what?....no lah....n where the heck ur going....i said no where juz came to work...they had this mischivieous look in their faces.....betul ke ni?..i said aiyoo my old baju's worn n torn lah...hehe.....mayb i should have played aroun a bit eh...wif my own mischivieous replies...hehe....well my TL said...'u look comellah malathi"...i was like aiyoo kak ...u 2....*slaps her head"....hmm...
ugly duckling feels...mayb because she's alwiz been a low profile person....thats why when there is a teeny weeny diff..she's been spotted dead...lolzz.....
hmm...the funniest part was...i went over to meet hami...a colleague of mine...she was seated in her chair.....so she bent over to look for something...little did i know she was interested to check the little amount of silver sequins n beads on my black punjabi suit....aii....well there were a few of us...i kept on moving back n she fell flat sitting on the floor.....kakaka...sorry to say...but i couldnt stop laughing...even now i cant stop laughing if i think about it....lolzz...hehe....*still smiling to herself*...mayb i ought to pinch myself....hmm..a simple attire can make a diff....mayb that simple attire looked nice to others.....lolzz..weird....well...i'll be wearing another new one tmrw...wat will they say to that...lolz...hmm..before all this attention goes to my head....i'll smack my head wif the nearest object...to come back to reality....its time for the lil ugly duckling to go back home...i'll edit more laterzz....wat a day! :)...*still smiling like an idiot*...guess will b like that for the whole day...